I’ve spent more than my fair share of time waiting for health-related things. Sitting in doctor’s office waiting rooms, waiting for test results, waiting on hold with the insurance company; it’s something I’ve become accustomed to. So sitting in the waiting room of the fertility clinic last week was nothing new.
But this most recent season of waiting has been particularly difficult. At the beginning of this year, we decided that we were finally ready to start trying to grow our family. After so many years of dealing with health issues, I finally feel like my body is ready to be a mom.
So since January, I’ve been hoping and praying, patiently waiting for God to move in our lives and choose us to finally be parents. It has not been an easy wait for me. Each month has felt like some kind of strange dance between hope and heartache. And the longer God asks me to wait, the harder it feels.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t just been waiting these past 11 months to become a mom. I have been waiting my entire marriage, year after year hoping that my health would improve enough to make my dreams a reality. For 12 long years, I have watched as friends and family members have become mothers all around me. Sometimes it feels like God has chosen everyone but me to become a mama.
If you find yourself in a similar waiting season that feels hard right now, please know you’re not alone in your struggle. Waiting for God to move in our lives can be incredibly difficult. In our waiting, joy can feel just out of reach, and if we’re honest, sometimes God can too. But what if He is actually using this time for good?
I’ve wrestled with a lot of questions in this season of waiting. I have wondered at times if God hears my prayers. I have questioned His purpose in asking me to wait so long. There have been times when I have felt alone and forgotten on this journey.
But I have learned that I have a choice in this waiting season. I can feel sorry for myself, question God, and allow fear and frustration to control me. Or I can trust God and look for what He is doing in my life while I am asked to wait. I have learned that waiting seasons are not wasted seasons and there are actually ways to thrive and find goodness hidden in these times.
Give it to God
This time of waiting has taught me that I am not in control, and no matter how badly I want things to go according to my plans, God’s timing isn’t my timing. I have had to learn to let go of my expectations of how I thought my life would look and trust that God’s plan is far greater than mine. He knows what He’s doing and even if I don’t understand it, I will trust that He is working all things out for my good.
Embrace Vulnerability
Throughout this season of waiting to become a mother, I have learned to embrace vulnerability. Sharing my story, opening up about what I’m going through, and letting others in has deepened my relationships and strengthened my bond with the people in my life. Letting myself be honest about my struggles has strengthened my marriage, my friendships, and my relationship with my family.
While our culture puts such a high value on independence, the truth is that we cannot do this life alone. I encourage you to lean on your people while you’re in a waiting season. Let others in and let them love you through this time.
Find the Good
While this time has been difficult and painful, if I look hard enough, I can see the good that has come from this season of waiting. God is using this time in my life to mold and shape me, ultimately strengthening my faith and reliance on Him.
This time has driven me to my knees in prayer and my relationship with Jesus has only grown stronger. I have realized how much I need the strength that only God can provide. Throughout this season of waiting, He has transformed my heart and deepened my faith. I know this time is serving a great purpose.
Be Present
When we are waiting for our circumstances to change it can be easy to live in our heads, constantly anticipating the future. But I encourage you to spend more time in the present moment.
I waited many years to arrive at the place of health and healing where I currently find myself. I don’t want to waste this precious time longing to move ahead to the next season. I want to appreciate where I am right here, right now.
Although I long for the day when I become a mother, I know there are so many gifts and so much to be thankful for in this current season. I once prayed for this very time. So I’m going to do all I can to savor it and live my best life today. We don’t have to sit around waiting for the next season of life to find happiness. Because there is goodness and grace right here in this season. And I’m going to do all I can to find it.
If you, too, find yourself in a season of waiting, I encourage you to embrace this time. I recognize that it is not easy. Waiting can test us and feel so unfair at times. But you can still thrive while you wait. Trust in God’s plan for your life, lean on your people, look for the goodness hidden all around you, and know that you are exactly where you are meant to be.