I started sharing my words with the world to encourage others who may be going through a difficult time, to let them know that they’re not alone. I’ve always wanted my writing to be inspirational and uplifting. I try my best to seek out the beauty in the world and to encourage you to keep going and never stop looking for the good in your life.
But let’s be honest. There are going to be days in this life when you’re not okay. Days when no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to find the positive and good in the world around you. Days that seem dark. What I want you to know is that it’s okay to have days like this.
I try to remain as positive as possible and encourage others to seek out the beauty and meaning in life’s obstacles. But I also have days when I just can’t seem to do this. Days when the good seems elusive and just beyond my reach. Days when I can hardly see through the tears. I also have days when I’m not okay.
What I want you to know is that having days like this does not mean that you are failing. It does not mean that something is wrong with you or that you’re doing something wrong. It simply means that you are human.
Let yourself feel your feelings.
We all have bad mental health days and times when we struggle to see the good. Let yourself have these days every now and then. It’s important to not try to run from difficult or uncomfortable emotions but instead to sit with them and give yourself the space to feel and experience them.
If we try to instead suppress, ignore, or deny these emotions, we often end up doing more harm than good, as these feelings will just continue to manifest in our lives in different ways. Allow yourself the space to wrestle with these difficult emotions and give yourself extra grace on these days.
Be kind to yourself in these times.
During these times it’s more important than ever to be kind to ourselves. Letting ourselves feel our difficult emotions without judgement is the first step towards moving past them. Let yourself cry if you need to some days. Take time to practice extra self-care.
Be mindful of the words you’re speaking to yourself on days like this. Be kind and gentle with what you tell yourself. I recently read that experts estimate that we have up to 60,000 thoughts per day. That’s up to 60,000 opportunities to build ourselves up or tear ourselves down. The words we speak to ourselves matter. Choose your words wisely.
Reach out to others.
When I’m going through a particularly hard time or find myself in a dark place, my natural tendency is to withdraw from others. I don’t want to burden people with my problems or bring anyone down. Sometimes it’s hard for me to admit that I’m not okay. But opening up and reaching out to others is often the best thing for us during times like these.
Reach out to a friend and let them help you through this time. Don’t try to pretend with your family that everything is okay when it really isn’t. Letting people help us through these times can not only speed up the healing process, but it can also strengthen our relationships. And it helps others to know that they can also come to us when they may be going through a difficult time in the future.
Let go of shame.
It’s important to release feelings of shame around not being okay. We must let go of the notion that feeling pain means that we are failing or weak. If you do feel this way, try not to judge yourself. Remind yourself that you are human and it’s okay to feel this way sometimes. Remember that these feelings are temporary and that you have the strength to eventually move past them.
Know that this time serves a purpose.
Difficult seasons of life may feel uncomfortable and we can often find ourselves wondering if there is a reason for our suffering. I want to assure you that there is. Times like this stretch us and grow us. They change us. They teach us how strong we are. These times in our lives serve an important purpose.
When we take the time to wrestle with the difficult emotions inside of us, we are doing great work within our souls. When we pause to ask the hard questions and give ourselves the space to process our pain, this is when God often does the greatest work in our hearts. These are the spaces in our lives where character is built.
Try to remember that bad mental health days are completely normal. We all go through seasons of sadness. Remind yourself that you do not have to be strong and happy all the time. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself if you’re going through a difficult season. Up your self-care on days like this and reach out to others. You are never alone. Remember that you are stronger than you know and you can get through anything.
This is so true! Pain should not be equated to weakness. A lot of people still believe the opposite and it’s a stigma that has to be stopped.
Philippians 4:13
You can do everything through Christ, who gives you strength.
I love you niece.
I finally had to shed a few tears today. Knowing your child is in a serious health crisis & in pain always hits you hard. But I’ve always lived by the saying “That which does not kill you, only makes you stronger.” Trust me it works. Because this too shall pass.
Just so true and some great tips to follow 👍👍
wow! so many relatable points here.
I agree completely with other commenters.
expressing pain or reaching out for help isn’t a sign of weakness.
it shows your inner strength.
thanks for sharing!
Beautiful advice! I absolutely love these suggestions when coming with those “off days” I like to call them. I try and remind my boyfriend who suffers with depression that – it’s OKAY to not be OKAY. You have to have those bad times to appreciate the good times. It’s just life.
Thank you so much for the great calming advice!
This is such a beautiful post, thanks for sharing! I found myself in quite a rut last week and reaching out to others definitely helped me, as well as taking some time to do small things for myself such as taking a long bath 🙂
So well put.. I firmly believe the fact that you need to understand that negative experiences is a part of life and equally important as positive experiences.. you cannot wish or act to be positive all the time!
Thanks for sharing, I think we often get so comfortable putting on a face when we should be more comfortable embracing all of the feelings we experience. Great post!
This was such a wonderful post, I’m a Christian too this was so inspiring. And I love how you mentioned to be kind to yourself it’s so important. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful and so true! It’s okay not to be okay and pain is inevitable… In the end, life is what we make it!
Love this! Beautifully written and so true. ❤️
Beautiful post.
I consider it important to feel every single emotion, even pain. Negative experiences help us grow. x
This is such a good post. People often are so hard on themselves when they don’t have a good day, I myself am guilty of this. It’s hard to tell yourself it is okay not to be okay. I always tell myself why do I feel like this when I have such a good life? But I try to put my not okay days into Gods hands. Thank you for this post.
I needed to hear these words. Thank you
Such an important article. Thank you.
I’m glad this is a thing now because people assume you’re just supposed to get over stuff and be ok.
Sometimes I feel the same way as well
My pastor always said it is okay to not be okay but we don’t want you to stay there. That is why I found this post so uplifting. It gives permission to not be okay with practical tips not to stay there. Thanks for sharing.
Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing your insight into why it’s okay not to be okay! I think we expect ourselves to be “good” and “positive” a lot of the time, even when we really don’t feel that way – which takes up a lot of valuable energy we could be using to rest and heal on a bad day.
Maria Black https://mysoulbalm.blog
Beautiful post, it is always ok to not be okay regardless of what others might say. You are entitled to feel your feelings, and even if people try and shame you for it, never be ashamed because struggles are no laughing matter.