What do we do when life presents us with the unexpected? Where do we turn when trials we never expected to encounter become our everyday reality? My friend MaryBeth is no stranger to encountering the unexpected in her life. Her ability to hold onto hope and continue to trust in God through life’s devastating trials is a constant encouragement to me. It’s an honor to welcome her to the blog today. May her words stir you to hold onto hope as they always do for me.
By MaryBeth Eiler
On Monday, I walked into work just like any other day. By Friday, unable to bear more than a little weight on my left leg, I relied on a crutch to get me from the front door to my desk.
The inability to use my leg in a normal capacity was not something I had ever contemplated. For twenty-seven years, I had been an active individual. Fifteen years of dance classes. A member of the golf and tennis team in high school. Weekend hikes. Walks around the neighborhood. Regular yoga classes. Movement has always been a given—never something that could be rapidly taken away.
Three months before experiencing mobility loss, I had been diagnosed with a recurrent tumor. The first attempt at surgical removal had failed and its return was aggressive. A rare tumor with no standard, one-size-fits-all treatment plan, trial and error ensued as my medical team sought a way to control its growth.
When the first treatment proved ineffective in slowing the tumor’s growth, the tightness in my leg began to increase—slowly at first and then day by day. A few weeks into trialing a new medication and I found myself unable to bear my full weight on my left leg. The growth had constricted my gastrocnemius to the point of impairing the function of my knee and ankle. In a matter of days, I went from walking to barely being able to stretch my leg past 90-degrees.
Crutches and a scooter became my lifeline. As my body continued to decline—and there seemed to be no straightforward path to shrink the tumor and regain mobility—my trust in God was put to the test.
What if we don’t find an effective treatment to shrink the tumor?
What if I never walk again?
What if my leg has to be amputated?
These questions lived in the back of my mind but were rarely voiced. Vocalizing the fear felt like naming them as real possibilities. None of what I was experiencing felt real. I felt like I was watching someone else’s life unfold. I could not comprehend how life had so drastically shifted. I was left with two choices: turn away from God or turn toward Him.
Turning Toward God
The first few months after losing my mobility, I relied on others to pray for me more than I managed to pray for myself. As the shock wore off, I slowly settled into my new normal.
One year of mobility impairment turned into two, and now nearly three, but those years have held significant transformation. When I started paying attention, I began to see the ways God was meeting me right in the middle of my messy circumstances.
After suffering from mobility loss, I started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I felt especially challenged by God’s instructions in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV where we are called to “rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Was I really supposed to give thanks for my circumstances? It seemed like a pretty bold request, but I decided to start to look for the good in the challenging circumstances that made up my life.
As I began to pay attention and seek out the good, I found God’s provision in my midst. I found all the ways that God was at work. In uncovering God’s provision, my trust in Him solidified.
In big and little ways, God met me in my times of need. Whether it be the text from a friend filled with encouragement to face another day or the new team of caregivers who sought to understand my pain and treated me as fully human.
God met me right where I was in many unexpected ways. He didn’t always provide the answers I was seeking, but after I started paying attention to the ways He was at work in my life, it became apparent He hadn’t abandoned me—even if life hadn’t turned out the way I planned.
What If Versus Even If
As my trust in God strengthened so did my resolve that even if my mobility is never fully restored, God remains present in my pain. Over the last three years, God has met every need that has surfaced as I have grown to depend on Him to be my source of strength in my weakness.
Life presents us with many “what ifs”—especially when life takes a turn for the unexpected. With God, we can replace the what-ifs with even ifs. Even if life doesn’t turn out as planned, we know that God has a plan and we can trust Him with our lives. Even if life never returns to normal, God is still faithful and He is still present.
As we place our trust in God, He will continue to meet us right where we are.
How is God meeting you right where you are today? Is there a “what-if” question in your life that can be replaced with an even if statement?
May you offer up this plea and prayer as you trust God to be your guide through the trials of your life:
Lord, through every trial and hardship, you are good. I pray for wisdom and guidance, peace and patience, that not my will but yours be done.
Grant me understanding when the outcome does not go my way.
Remind me that your plans are far better than my own.
Open my eyes to your provision as you help me surrender control.
Thank you for every moment you have seen me through that has led me to this day. May all the glory be yours.
Amen.
Excerpt from A Prayer to Lift Up on Hard Days.
MaryBeth Eiler is a writer who encourages people to hold onto hope as they encounter unexpected challenges in life. As a rare disease warrior, MaryBeth has found God’s provision in her weakest moments and with it the grace she needs to endure. MaryBeth shares encouragement on Instagram @marybetheiler and at www.marybetheiler.com. You can also follow her on Facebook and Pinterest.
I like what you said with the “even ifs”. Sometimes, all of us questions and dreams about what could happen not realizing that there was Someone who have been with us throughout… and it is Him.
Absolutely! It can definitely be difficult to feel God’s presence in our most challenging circumstances, but thankfully He never leaves our side. <3
In these uncertain times all we have is hope indeed. I loved this piece and it’s so needed to be read now. May we all hold onto hope until things get better. Thankyou for sharing this beauty.
Grateful for your encouraging words, Sonia!
Kudus to your strength and versatility. Impressed with your hope and trust in God. Keep going for you are stronger than you think. Your trust in the higher above will get you through the highest mountains
Anitha, thank you for reading and for your encouragement! God continues to show up time and time again and I am forever grateful to know Him! Blessings to you.
I love the idea of replacing what if with even if. I have major fears in pursuing my dreams and aspirations. I worry – what if it doesn’t turn out, what if I am not successful, what if I don’t make enough money to support a family, and so on – even when I feel that God is telling me I should pursue this unknown path. Instead of my what if’s, I will now say, even if it doesn’t work out, God has a plan for me and I have faith that this experience will lead to something greater. I have been working to put my future in the hands of God and trust that he will guide me on the right path. Thanks for this wonderful post 🙂
Brie, what a beautiful way to replace your what ifs with even ifs! Praying you will feel God guide you along every step of your journey. Stepping into something new is never easy, but I’ve certainly felt God the most when I’m out of my comfort zone as it always requires me to depend more heavily on Him.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am inspired by how you hold onto hope in the unexpected. I agree that when we trust in God, he will continue to meet us right where we are.
Olivia, grateful that you took the time to read my story and walked away encouraged!
It’s wonderful to be able to find hope in difficult times. I don’t believe in God, but I think it is a nice idea, and hope she continues to be well and find comfort.
Thank you, Jennifer! Grateful you took the time to read. Hope is such a gift in uncertain times!
I love the way you write. Very powerful message today. <3
Thank you for the encouragement, Amanda! Grateful these words resonated with you today.
I needed this now more than ever! Thanks so much for sharing these tips, it’s so important to be spiritual and lean into something to help cope with these difficult times. Thanks for sharing.
Amy, grateful these words met you right where you are today. Even in challenging times, God is still with us – what a gift!
When I was reading your story I had tears in my eyes. I struggle so much when I don’t feel God’s presence. It’s hard for me at times because hope is my absolute everything in my life. “God remains present in my pain.” Wow — that is exactly exactly exactly what I believe as well. Thank you so much for sharing.
Nancy, I’m so touched that this post meant so much to you! In difficult times, it can be hard to feel God’s presence, but I’ve found the more I seek it, the more I see Him at work in my life – usually in the little details. The timely texts from friends, the smallest bit of good news from doctors that remind me to keep going, etc. God is always with us no matter what storms or trials we face.